Retrospective feelings of difference based on gender and sexuality among emerging adults

Feelings of difference (FOD) based on gender and/or sexuality (i.e., gender-sexuality FOD) can occur among all youth regardless of sexual or gender identity and can influence future identity development. This online questionnaire and open-ended response-based study examined retrospective experiences and the presence of gender-sexuality FOD among sexual minority and heterosexual emerging adults (N = 879; M_age = 18.87 years, SD = 1.75, range = 18-22). More than half of all participants reported gender-sexuality FOD (n = 500; 57%), which often occurred by early adolescence regardless of sexual or gender identity. Participants were primarily White (n = 685; 77.1%), female (n = 666; 75.8%), and heterosexual (n = 794; 90.3%), with a minority of sexual minority participants (n = 85; 9.7%). Sexual minority individuals were significantly more likely to report gender-sexuality FOD than heterosexual individuals. Sexual minority women reported significantly greater felt impact (i.e., lasting effects) of gender-sexuality FOD than heterosexual men (no other significant group differences characterized this result). No significant group differences were found in age at which participants first experienced gender-sexuality FOD. Binary logistic regressions of codes generated through content analysis suggested that the first gender-sexuality FOD experiences of sexual minority individuals were more likely to involve fear of disclosure, shame and guilt, and acceptance of self, while those of heterosexual individuals were more likely to indicate acceptance of society. The coded accounts of women and men were not significantly different. Implications of these findings are discussed, particularly as they relate to future interventions for youth.